When tough performance conversations are handled with planning and care, they can become positive interactions that promote employee development.
According to Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes Are High, conversations become tough when employees feel stakes are high, when perception varies and when emotions are strong. Unfortunately, these are characteristics of almost all performance-based conversations. Even so, it is important for managers to address difficult issues in a timely manner, use clear communication and create a well-developed plan for improvement.
Below are common complications with tough employee conversations and solutions that can help managers succeed.
Topics Are Difficult And Perception Varies
It’s never difficult to praise someone. But, when managers need to address a problem with behavior or work product, it can be difficult to find the right words. Although it can be tempting to gloss over issues or to use vague language, it is critical to be clear and frank about your perception of the issue or problem.
Solution
Rely on a fact-based description of the problem or issue, preferably based on your observation and not second-hand knowledge. If possible, identify a behavior or competency (i.e., communication, patience, timeliness) behind the problem or issue and then provide an example or two that illustrates the problem (i.e., lateness for work, a missed deadline, an inaccurate work product). Type a description of the issue or problem and the plan to correct it and provide a copy for the employee so that you can review it together and, if necessary, you can read it. During the conversation, acknowledge the employee if he or she has a different perception, but continue to address the problem according to your written plan. You might say, “I can see how you might perceive it that way, however, what I saw was…”
Anxiety Is High
Not only is the employee likely apprehensive about a performance meeting with you, but you are also likely to be anxious. Confrontation is uncomfortable. However, confrontation doesn’t have to be negative and, if handled well, can lead to positive, healthy communication.
Solution
Prepare by getting together the facts. Outline the issue and development plan in writing for the employee. Seek out another manager and ask him or her to pretend to be the employee during a practice run of the discussion. Try to anticipate questions that may be asked by the employee and minimize areas that could be unclear or leave room for questions from the employee.
Employee Emotions Are Unpredictable
When faced with perceived danger, adrenaline begins pumping through an employee’s bloodstream and their brain begins the struggle over whether to fight or take flight. Emotions can manifest as angry words, uncontrollable tears, calculated manipulation, agitated movements, and, in a worst case scenario, hostile action.
Solution
If the employee’s emotion is uncomfortable to you but not threatening, stay focused and continue the discussion. The employee may attempt to redirect you to his or her successes, or worse, direct attention to a coworker. Gently, but firmly, state, “That’s not what we’re here to discuss. We need to discuss…” If the employee has stopped listening, offer to give them a moment to compose themselves or re-focus. If the emotion feels threatening, call for help or excuse yourself and find help. Follow your company’s policy for addressing workplace violence.
Conducting tough performance conversations are, well, tough. However, most employees appreciate candor and will work to address deficiencies. With advance planning, a tough conversation can increase communication and create a stronger employee.
